Missing It. And Not.

We failed to get to any annual correspondence this year, at Christmastime, and then even the New Year. I cannot recollect when we last forwent either. We had a bumpy relational Summer, one with much growing pains and heart ache. A shifting of terrains that seasons provide in letting some die to make room for the new life of others. But eye opening at the very least, and though I feel like certainty is still quite coming into focus, embracing a little blur has also been OK.

Driving down to Columbus for the New Year, committed to connect with good friends despite distance, drove such a terrific stake into the ground. I will not let relationships that matter keep sliding. I suppose it's a resolution I never penned formally, while we quietly let the Holidays pass without cards. But one that incised itself in my consciousness throughout Autumn.

I will pen more letters. I will send more packages. I will get in the car and drive to visit friends. I will invest more in relationships that are working. I will relent and give needed neglect to the ones that are not. I will let those go. I will let those go. 

People will pick up and leave with no consideration, and they will text one-liners that read simply: very busy over here. And they will not always tell the truth, even without lying. And I will let those go. All the withholding, all the unnatural struggle. I will let those go. And all that letting go, will clear out more space for bringing in. And I will dwell here most decidedly, and not miss it.